What An Asshole Looks Like

Posted by: | Posted on: April 30, 2019
What An Asshole Looks Like


Here’s something you see almost daily, especially while driving: the drifter and texter.

I would say if you count the amount of times you see this happen, you would run out of fingers on your hands and toes.

There are a few versions of these clueless assholes: There’s the walker texter, there’s the elevator texter, and there’s the person who really doesn’t give a shit if anybody else is there, because they need to get that text in.

Well, that person just starts drifting into a light. They see the red light, they grab their precious phone, their slimy, greasy iPhone screen that’s never clean, it’s like a borderline for bacteria and leprosy.

They know that there’s a red light coming up, so they’ll start slowing down, and then they’ll put their head in the position of downward motion, a position that only used to be reserved for cunnilingus and blowjobs.

Anyway, they’ll usually leave at least three or four car lengths ahead. They tend to be the person you need to honk at to wake up, because they still have to get that text or Instagram post or whatever the fuck it is in.

Then you have another version: the walker texter. Walking down a busy city street with not a clue that anybody else is around. They’ll just walk right into you if you allow it. Why?

Because they’ve got to get their text in.

Very, very important to get back to somebody who’s not there. They’re not even part of your current reality, and that’s what makes no sense.

People just spend so much time more concerned with people that aren’t in their current reality than people that are actually in their current reality.

So that’s what a modern asshole looks like.

So today I want you to count the amount of times you see this, or actually catch yourself doing it, and tell me how you feel.

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