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Posted by: | Posted on: May 12, 2019

Wouldn’t you like a man to take care of YOU

Wouldn’t you like a man to take care of YOU

You’re tired,

You’re tired of working ten hours a day.

You’re tired of six hours of sleep per night.

You’re tired of commuting to and from work.

You’re tired of having to handle everything yourself: the laundry, making dinner, car leases, insurance premiums, your wireless connection.

You’re tired of taking care of everybody – your aging parents, your screwed up siblings, your ungrateful boss, your average employees, your unappreciative kids.

Life is hard enough.

It’s much harder when your whole life involves giving rather than receiving.

If you’re like most of my Love U students, you give WAY more than you receive.

You’re like Sisyphus pushing a rock up a hill or Atlas carrying the world on his shoulders.

It’s tiring. It sucks. And nobody talks openly about it.

Have you ever spent long nights on the phone counseling a dear friend?

Have you ever spent thousands of dollars on veterinarian bills for a sick pet?

Have you ever worked longer than expected because you took pride in your work and wanted to please your boss or client?

Have you ever given an expensive gift to your less fortunate sister or your self-sacrificing mother?

Have you ever given more to a relationship than the relationship has given back to you?

I’ll bet you have.

What we see here is not just that you are generous but you are actually generous to a fault.

So, why am I bringing this up now, on the last day of this special Love U launch?

If anything, I wanted you to see something I see in you:

You are so committed to giving to others that you may neglect your own needs.

You put yourself out for a friend, for a pet, for a loved one, but when do you get the opportunity to …

Posted by: | Posted on: May 9, 2019

I’ve Got Good News, I’ve Got Bad News and I’ve Got Great News!

I’ve Got Good News, I’ve Got Bad News and I’ve Got Great News!

When I first launched Love U in 2015, 250 women enrolled. It was an unusually close group and remains one of the highlights of my career because of this dynamic.

But as you know, my goal isn’t just to make friends – it’s to change lives.

And, as you also probably know, the difference between the clients who have success and the ones who don’t isn’t so much about me as it is about them.

And, as you also probably know, the difference between the clients who have success and the ones who don’t isn’t so much about me as it is about them.

The women who watched the videos, showed up on the weekly coaching calls, dated consistently, and participated actively in the Love U community were the ones who felt the most connected to Love U – and, not coincidentally, got the best results.

And if you ever wonder whether I’m just pumping myself up, this November, I’m invited to a wedding in Sydney, Australia for Elly, a client from that inaugural class of Love U.

That’s awesome. But it’s not the best part. The best part is that a bunch of other women from that Love U class are ALSO invited to attend with their significant others.

  • Jen is in a great relationship with a man called Frank. They’ve been together for years now, live together and he supported her through a double mastectomy.
  • Alyson is an introvert in her 50’s who was really mistrustful of men. Now she’s married and living happily ever after in Kentucky.
  •  Kimberly is in a very happy relationship with a man 12 years younger than her for over a year.
  • Karen has been with the man that she met during Love U for nearly four years.
  • Nanthini didn’t have much dating
Posted by: | Posted on: April 27, 2019

Two Quick Tests to Figure Out if Your Guy is a Keeper

Two Quick Tests to Figure Out if Your Guy is a Keeper

What? You didn’t get a chance to watch my Facebook Live on Thursday?

Was it because you were too busy? Was it because you had too much work?

Listen, I understand that a smart, busy woman like you has a life outside of me.

Still, you missed out on some really powerful stuff.

Listen, I understand that a smart, busy woman like you has a life outside of me. Still, you missed out on some really powerful stuff.

And since you’re not the only busy woman on my list, I’m giving you access to a replay of How You Can Attract Better Men and Get the Right One to Want to Commit.

In about an hour, you’ll learn:

  •  How to stop ignoring your feelings of anxiety and set healthy boundaries with men.
  •  Why you should ALWAYS give a good boyfriend the benefit of the doubt – and break up with anyone who’s not a good boyfriend.
  •  How to talk with him when you’re upset without attacking and making him upset.
  •  The incredible power of acceptance and why you should NEVER try to change a man.
  •  The psychological phenomenon “habituation” and how it’s silently KILLING your relationships.
  •  What compatibility is, what it is not, and why it’s just as important as chemistry.
  •  What qualities you should compromise on, and which qualities you should NEVER compromise on.
  •  Two quick tests to help you evaluate your relationship and figure out if he has what it takes to make you happy forever.
  • Remember, you came to me for a reason: to help you understand men, to give you the tools to date successfully, and to help you attract a great guy who treats you like gold.

It all starts now.

Click here to watch my highly entertaining and educational video and get the confidence

Posted by: | Posted on: April 25, 2019

You Don’t Want to Miss This

You Don’t Want to Miss ThisTime is running out!

Okay, so that’s a bit of an overstatement.

Time isn’t running out.

You can find love at 38, 48, 58, 68 or 78.

I see proof of this every day from happy readers and clients.

But, as you already recognize from, dating DOES get tougher as you get older, which is the very reason to TAKE ACTION NOW.

And as you’ll see in a few hours, there ARE strategies for attracting better men (and repelling worse men) that you can use immediately.

And as you’ll see in a few hours, there ARE strategies for attracting better men (and repelling worse men) that you can use immediately.

On a personal note, I am brimming with excitement to connect with you.

I’ve got my 27” iMac bolted to my standing desk.

I’ve got my Yeti mic plugged in for better sound.

I’ve got my “script” prepared with some new ideas I’ve been preparing for you.:

  •      How to stop ignoring your feelings of anxiety and set healthy boundaries with men.
  •      The psychological phenomenon “habituation” and how it’s silently KILLING your relationships.
  •      What compatibility is, what it is not, and why it’s just as important as chemistry.

All you have to do is meet me on Facebook at 5:30pmPST/8:30pmEST to get some priceless advice about improving your relationships and making good men stick around.

At the end of the event, I’m going to tell you about the opportunity to join me in Love U – with weekly live coaching – and meet the man who “gets you” in the next six months.

And who knows? Maybe I’ll get an email from you that sounds a lot like the ones you’ve been reading at the end of all of my emails…

Here are the details of tonight’s big live event once …

Posted by: | Posted on: April 16, 2019

(Video) The Reason You Attract Men Who Treat You Poorly

(Video) The Reason You Attract Men Who Treat You Poorly

At this point I hope you’ve had the chance to read the Love U Pyramid of Love.

Many of you wrote back to tell me how much those lessons resonated – and how painful it is to look back at all the crap you’ve put up with from men.

But there’s a big difference between realizing you’ve acted insecure in the past and understanding how to correct that behavior in the future.

That’s what I’m here for.

And what I love about my readers is that you are not shy about asking me to address what’s on your mind the most: how to identify good men and get rid of bad ones. Recent emails to me include:

  • How do you decipher the men that are looking for a real relationship vs. the ones looking for a one-night stand?
  • How can I be sure the man that comes on strong is a man is not a player and wants to build a relationship?
  • Why didn’t he felt connected with me since he showed signs of being in love?
  • What makes men commit to some women and not others?
  • How do you know when you’ve met the “right” guy?

Believe it or not, there are answers to all of these questions – and I’m going to share them shortly.

But I’ve gotta tell you: as a dating coach, I probably do the same thing that you do every day: observe common patterns and try to make sense of them.

Doctors do this. Lawyers do this. Finance people do this. Teachers do this. Dog trainers do this. We look for behavioral patterns and adjust to them.

Tell me if this pattern sounds familiar to you:

You fall for a guy based on chemistry and common interests.

He makes a great effort to …

Posted by: | Posted on: March 25, 2019

Should I Ask My Boyfriend to See a Therapist for His Issues?

Should I Ask My Boyfriend to See a Therapist for His Issues?

I am a 25-year old woman living in North Carolina. I’ve been with my loving, consistent boyfriend (also 25) for a year now and I’ve been impressed with how easy and natural the relationship is. We live separately but see each other at least 2-3x/week and have keys to each other’s places. However, we spent the holidays together this year and it’s become apparent his family and childhood issues still haunt him.

His parent’s awful marriage and a genetic predisposition for mental illness left him in bad shape. I have no room to judge as the anxious child of a bitter divorce, but after 3 years of therapy and dozens of self help books I know I’ve done my part to become a healthy person and partner. He went to therapy as a child and a few times in college, but since then hasn’t been back.

Even though he has always been emotionally available, some of his habits make me want to ask him to see a therapist. He gets jealous even though he’s never been cheated on, and if he has one too many beers, feelings and tears usually follow. He often agonizes over what people think of him and will go to events he doesn’t even like so friends won’t be upset (and expects me to attend). When I ask him why he’s like this, he’s very self aware and explains to me how he’s feeling and why he feels that way. For example, he has jealousy issues from witnessing his father’s affairs growing up.

I love him and want to accept him as he is, but is it fair to ask him to go to therapy and at least try to work through these issues? If so, how can I approach the subject without making him feel

Posted by: | Posted on: March 21, 2019

Is Evan Marc Katz’s Marriage Sad and Uninspiring?

Is Evan Marc Katz’s Marriage Sad and Uninspiring?

I’m well-aware that criticism comes with the territory of writing for the internet. The fact that there are 130,000 comments on my blog should be a decent indicator of how much dissent I allow (pretty much everything except personal insults). I also know that it would be impossible for any reader to have a full understanding of my marriage; it’s all mediated through blog posts, videos, etc. But since I use my marriage as an example of the kind of marriage I wish for you to have, I believe it’s fair for you to want to know whether I’m some sort of bullshit artist or a guy who actually walks his own walk.

And while  I haven’t done this for a long time, an individual comment on this recent blog post just rubbed me the wrong way. Since I couldn’t shake the feeling, I figured this would be a great opportunity to explain myself to anyone who may have the same perceptions as this reader about me and my “uninspiring” marriage.

And, by “explain myself,” I mean, I brought in my wife to directly address each of the partially-true, partially misguided claims below. She’s more diplomatic than I am but I do love that she comes out swinging.

“V” writes:

“I fear I must say what many other women are afraid to say and it’s that you don’t come off as good husband material initially either. I think you can not see this about yourself and only see what a super great catch you are.

– You spoke about how you had about 300 dates in 10 years; sorry but according to the math that’s only about 2 dates a month; low numbers. I bring that up because

– You said you Never had a relationship last longer than

Posted by: | Posted on: March 18, 2019

How Can I Ever Let a Man Get Close to Me Again?

How Can I Ever Let a Man Get Close to Me Again?


I am shattered from bad relationships. I’ve just finished my seventh long term relationship and I’m only 37.

The man before this last one died unfortunately from cancer and left me with a newborn baby. I took nearly four years to pull myself together after this and then met a man online.

I followed all of your advice and I thought I had found the greatest man. He was charming, kind, considerate, a gentleman and happy to take myself and my son on.

It was next to perfect for a year and then it started to change. He started to make little mean comments about my son which got to me. For example, his ears stuck out or what kind of genes does he have when he was old one day.

I started to worry about this and I talked to him and he said he would stop. However then I realized he was telling me small little white lies but I soon found out he was telling big ones too.

I’ve finished it with him after a year and five months. I’m absolutely deflated. I thought it was finally my time to marry again have another child. I thought it was coming together for me with a wonderful caring man.

I see now he’s a narcissist who was manipulating me. I could only see his good points at the beginning. Luckily, I took on your advice not to make a massive commitment with a man until I know him a year. I had not let him move in with me thankfully.

Evan, I’m shattered from relationships. I just don’t know how I could ever let another man in after the lies and deception. He was so good and kind to my son in the beginning and then it suddenly

Posted by: | Posted on: February 28, 2019

Why Do Men Like Me But Never Love Me?

Why Do Men Like Me But Never Love Me?

Like Meghan Daum, Heather Havrilesky is another author and Facebook friend whom I haven’t met yet. She, too, is a Duke graduate from the 90’s as well as a noted advice columnist, and I’ll be the first to admit that she’s probably better than I am.

Not because she’s spent fifteen years studying dating and relationship dynamics like a I have, but because she’s one helluva writer with a uniquely powerful voice who puts WAY more thought into her blistering columns than I do with mine.

I could pull any one of her Ask Polly diatribes she writes for New York Magazine, but this one, entitled, “Why Don’t Men I Date Ever Truly Love Me?” really struck a chord.

Not only is the question – from a woman who is liked but never loved by her boyfriends – a well-written one, but Havrilesky’s answer gives me goosebumps in its fierce clarity.

“There’s nothing wrong with you… You’re probably attracting a wider swath of men  than is  good for you. They aren’t self-selecting themselves out of contention, because you seem perfectly healthy and reasonable. If you seemed impatient or intolerant, you might slough off some of the wishy-washy slackers in the mix. If you were a little temperamental, you might lose all but the most fervent admirers. Instead, you are healthy and sane and no one will object to being a team, and when you hit month 18 you’ll (very wisely) assess the situation with your therapist: “Welp, he’s either going to pop the question or hit the road, and I need to be fully emotionally prepared for either eventuality.”

This reminds me of my wife – a woman who is so happy and even-tempered that she could always get men to date  her, but was so happy and even-tempered …

Posted by: | Posted on: January 14, 2019

Does Marriage Mean Suffering Through A Lot of Horrible Years?

Does Marriage Mean Suffering Through A Lot of Horrible Years?

As a longtime reader of your blog, I know you’re a proponent of good marriages as opposed to marrying solely for the sake of not being alone.

I was recently watching a late night show on which Michelle Obama appeared and said, “If you’re married for 50 years, and 10 of them are horrible, you’re doing really good! Anybody would take those odds.”

Should anybody *really* take those odds, though?

Is it simply being realistic, as the former First Lady suggests, to expect a “horrible” year or two here and there sprinkled throughout a lifelong partnership?

If not, is it possible to assess at 2-3 years into a relationship whether or not that “horrible” year is right around the corner?

Perhaps even worse, is it a thing that the first 40 years could be blissful and the next 10 a total nightmare? And if either of those circumstances were to happen in a relationship, what should the partners do?

Thanks, Evan!

Jen

Really great question, Jen. I’m glad you asked it.

I think this is as good a time to point out that the way I feel about relationships is different than the way most people feel about relationships.

Most people:  “Relationships take work!”

Evan:  “Good relationships are easy. If it’s not easy, it’s not a good relationship.”

Most people:  “Couples fight all the time. It’s normal.”

Evan:  “Unhealthy couples fight all the time. Healthy couples fight a lot less — and a lot quieter.”

Most people:  “You should stay together through thick and thin because you made a vow.”

Evan:  “If your relationship is draining you and is not supporting your happiness, what exactly is it for?”

When I say these things, people sit up and pay attention for multiple reasons.

I don’t know anybody else who preaches the …