leaving a toxic relationship
now browsing by category
I am a 46-year-old, twice divorced, mother of 3, dating a man with whom I had a serious relationship in my 20’s.
Back then, I ended the relationship because I never trusted him (he was somewhat of a player, 8 years older, while I was a naive law student who had had one previous relationship) and although we were very compatible and I loved him very much, I did not see a future with him.
After my 2nd divorce, I reached out to him; we chatted for hours and made a date to meet up for dinner and drinks. That date lasted 7 hours, we both felt an immediate re-connection, and I had this amazing feeling that we had both grown up and were ready to be in a more mature relationship.
The first several months were great; we had many fun dates and became intimate within the first month. There were some red flags early on, like when I asked if he was seeing anyone else and he laughed it off — I thought he was saying my question was ridiculous — after all, he had already told me he loved me.
Turns out, I was wrong. Five months into the relationship, I learned that he had been dating someone very seriously immediately before we started dating, that he was not over her when we started dating, and in fact had tried to get back together with her nearly 3 months after we started dating (she said no).
Also, he had a female “friend” (the former best friend of the aforementioned serious girlfriend) who he spent an inordinate amount of time with (and actually lied to me about sleeping at her house) but insisted there was nothing going on with her.
It made me uneasy but he continued to …
We were in a very toxic and abusive relationship. It all ended when I decided to press charges on him at the beginning of my pregnancy. I wasn’t ready to let go at first but I am now.
He threatened a false annulment and said that he had the paperwork for me to sign.
After he got out of jail he harassed me about getting an abortion as did his mistress.
His mistress is also the mother of his children and they were in a relationship for longer than he and I were married. He made it a point to let me know he didn’t want to be with me.
Now that I am finally agreeing to all terms he will not answer the phone. I told him I was trying to reach out to him about the divorce and that he can sign over all parental rights and we can go our separate ways.
At this point I just do not want to be tied to him anymore. He will not answer the phone to talk about it anymore and I don’t understand why.
It just doesn’t make any sense why he would go through all of that trouble just to not want to proceed with the divorce. He knows I cannot file in the state I am in for a while since I just moved out here and I have to wait six months before I can file here.
I have the money to file for him but he just ghosted me. Please give me some sort of insight if you can. Thank you so much.
I’m sorry this is happening to you, Betty, and I’m positive there are people with greater experience with divorce law than me. I would certainly find out what your legal options …