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Posted by: | Posted on: May 16, 2019

Orbiting. Another Dating Problem Created By Social Media.

Will You Use the New Facebook Dating App?

I’m REALLY glad to be a middle-aged married guy.

I stopped dating in January 2007 when I met my wife at a potluck dinner in Beverly Hills.

The first iPhone would be released later that year.

Texting was around but it wasn’t ubiquitous. Same with Facebook.

Instagram came around in 2010. Tinder didn’t launch until 2012.

And here we are, as lonely and disconnected as ever. Social media sites that were designed to connect us now cause an equal amount of pain and confusion.

And here we are, as lonely and disconnected as ever. Social media sites that were designed to connect us now cause an equal amount of pain and confusion.

The latest term of art from this digital dystopia? Keep reading:

“Prying eyes on Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter can be exciting when they come from a prospective romantic partner, confusing when unrequited and infuriating when the looker is an ex. In the last case, it’s as though the specter of a Relationship That Could Have Been is peeping over your shoulder, keeping tabs without having to commit to any real-world interactions.

Naturally, there is a name for this 21st-century phenomenon, which has joined ghosting, Netflix and chill, breadcrumbing and other recent entries to the dating lexicon. It’s called orbiting.”

I’d probably call it cyberstalking, but whatever you call it, it’s a thing that afflicts modern daters who are tethered to their social media.

“The way it feels to be orbited depends on your relationship to the orbiter. When you’re interested in the satellite entity watching your social media activity, orbiting brings an endorphin rush, the feeling of being circled by someone you want to get closer to.

But when it’s bad, it’s bad. There’s the frustration of wondering why an ex would rather watch your life

Posted by: | Posted on: May 12, 2019

Wouldn’t you like a man to take care of YOU

Wouldn’t you like a man to take care of YOU

You’re tired,

You’re tired of working ten hours a day.

You’re tired of six hours of sleep per night.

You’re tired of commuting to and from work.

You’re tired of having to handle everything yourself: the laundry, making dinner, car leases, insurance premiums, your wireless connection.

You’re tired of taking care of everybody – your aging parents, your screwed up siblings, your ungrateful boss, your average employees, your unappreciative kids.

Life is hard enough.

It’s much harder when your whole life involves giving rather than receiving.

If you’re like most of my Love U students, you give WAY more than you receive.

You’re like Sisyphus pushing a rock up a hill or Atlas carrying the world on his shoulders.

It’s tiring. It sucks. And nobody talks openly about it.

Have you ever spent long nights on the phone counseling a dear friend?

Have you ever spent thousands of dollars on veterinarian bills for a sick pet?

Have you ever worked longer than expected because you took pride in your work and wanted to please your boss or client?

Have you ever given an expensive gift to your less fortunate sister or your self-sacrificing mother?

Have you ever given more to a relationship than the relationship has given back to you?

I’ll bet you have.

What we see here is not just that you are generous but you are actually generous to a fault.

So, why am I bringing this up now, on the last day of this special Love U launch?

If anything, I wanted you to see something I see in you:

You are so committed to giving to others that you may neglect your own needs.

You put yourself out for a friend, for a pet, for a loved one, but when do you get the opportunity to …

Posted by: | Posted on: May 4, 2019

How to Find the Man Who Loves, Accepts and Cherishes You

How to Find the Man Who Loves, Accepts and Cherishes You

You may get really down that you’re still without that deep, lasting love you seek.

You may get really frustrated when you see other couples holding hands at the movies.

You may get really self-conscious when you see happy families walking down the street.

Yes, sometimes single life can be a drag, but it’s my job to remind you that these very markers of what you don’t have are ALSO the reason to brighten up.

They prove that there ARE good men out there and that love IS possible – no matter how hard it feels for you to achieve it.

Which is why I want to begin your day by spreading some good springtime cheer.

Every day, for the past few weeks, the momentum has been building.

The Pyramid of Love to teach you about the six pillars of Love U.

6 video tips about how to be the kind of woman men find irresistible.

The inspirational stories of Love U graduates who found love quickly.

The Facebook Live on how you can attract better men and get the right one to commit.

The women who have already enrolled in Love U so that they can transform from fearful and frustrated to abundant and optimistic.

Everywhere I go, I feel your good vibes:

My blog. My inbox. Endless heartfelt notes from women around the world who let me know that Love U and my coaching is working for them.

There are millions of smart, strong, successful women like you who have everything except for a man to share your life with.

There are millions of smart, strong, successful women like you who have everything except for a man to share your life with.

I want you to have that big, great love you’ve always desired and I will do …

Posted by: | Posted on: April 30, 2019

Why Good Relationships Are Easy (And Bad Relationships Take Work!)

Why Good Relationships Are Easy (And Bad Relationships Take Work!)

Over the past few weeks since you saw my Pyramid of Love, I’ve read your questions, comments and emails. You’re always as honest with me as I am with you.

You’ve told me how much men have disappointed you.

You’ve told me you’re wary of taking a chance and opening your heart again.

You’ve told me you’re looking for a shortcut to immediately let you know if a guy is a player, slacker, jerk, or alcoholic.

With such men…

You will constantly cry.

You will constantly fight.

You will constantly be disappointed.

You will constantly question yourself.

You will constantly agonize about where things are going.

You will constantly obsess how you can love someone so much and be so unhappy.

All those relationship issues force me to ask you a tough question.

If your boyfriend doesn’t consistently make you feel safe and happy, why are you in the relationship at all?

That may knock you sideways a bit. In fact, it may be difficult to admit to yourself:

You’ve hung onto the wrong men for your entire adult life.

In fact, that tenacity is a quality you took pride in – being able to push through, hold on tight and try to work things out with your partner.

Yet no relationship you’ve ever worked hard at has EVER lasted. Has it?

All relationships take some effort, but when that effort starts to feel like actual workyour relationship is not serving its purpose.

When I look at my happy marriage and the happy marriages of my clients, those relationships all have one overriding quality:

They’re EASY.

If that sounds hard to believe, that’s because you’ve never chosen an easy relationship before.

For you, love has always meant arguments, ups and downs and insecurity.

Or maybe you’re used …

Posted by: | Posted on: April 27, 2019

Two Quick Tests to Figure Out if Your Guy is a Keeper

Two Quick Tests to Figure Out if Your Guy is a Keeper

What? You didn’t get a chance to watch my Facebook Live on Thursday?

Was it because you were too busy? Was it because you had too much work?

Listen, I understand that a smart, busy woman like you has a life outside of me.

Still, you missed out on some really powerful stuff.

Listen, I understand that a smart, busy woman like you has a life outside of me. Still, you missed out on some really powerful stuff.

And since you’re not the only busy woman on my list, I’m giving you access to a replay of How You Can Attract Better Men and Get the Right One to Want to Commit.

In about an hour, you’ll learn:

  •  How to stop ignoring your feelings of anxiety and set healthy boundaries with men.
  •  Why you should ALWAYS give a good boyfriend the benefit of the doubt – and break up with anyone who’s not a good boyfriend.
  •  How to talk with him when you’re upset without attacking and making him upset.
  •  The incredible power of acceptance and why you should NEVER try to change a man.
  •  The psychological phenomenon “habituation” and how it’s silently KILLING your relationships.
  •  What compatibility is, what it is not, and why it’s just as important as chemistry.
  •  What qualities you should compromise on, and which qualities you should NEVER compromise on.
  •  Two quick tests to help you evaluate your relationship and figure out if he has what it takes to make you happy forever.
  • Remember, you came to me for a reason: to help you understand men, to give you the tools to date successfully, and to help you attract a great guy who treats you like gold.

It all starts now.

Click here to watch my highly entertaining and educational video and get the confidence

Posted by: | Posted on: April 25, 2019

You Don’t Want to Miss This

You Don’t Want to Miss ThisTime is running out!

Okay, so that’s a bit of an overstatement.

Time isn’t running out.

You can find love at 38, 48, 58, 68 or 78.

I see proof of this every day from happy readers and clients.

But, as you already recognize from, dating DOES get tougher as you get older, which is the very reason to TAKE ACTION NOW.

And as you’ll see in a few hours, there ARE strategies for attracting better men (and repelling worse men) that you can use immediately.

And as you’ll see in a few hours, there ARE strategies for attracting better men (and repelling worse men) that you can use immediately.

On a personal note, I am brimming with excitement to connect with you.

I’ve got my 27” iMac bolted to my standing desk.

I’ve got my Yeti mic plugged in for better sound.

I’ve got my “script” prepared with some new ideas I’ve been preparing for you.:

  •      How to stop ignoring your feelings of anxiety and set healthy boundaries with men.
  •      The psychological phenomenon “habituation” and how it’s silently KILLING your relationships.
  •      What compatibility is, what it is not, and why it’s just as important as chemistry.

All you have to do is meet me on Facebook at 5:30pmPST/8:30pmEST to get some priceless advice about improving your relationships and making good men stick around.

At the end of the event, I’m going to tell you about the opportunity to join me in Love U – with weekly live coaching – and meet the man who “gets you” in the next six months.

And who knows? Maybe I’ll get an email from you that sounds a lot like the ones you’ve been reading at the end of all of my emails…

Here are the details of tonight’s big live event once …

Posted by: | Posted on: April 20, 2019

How You Can Attract Better Men and Get the Right One to Want to Commit.

How You Can Attract Better Men and Get the Right One to Want to Commit.

Mattie is 54.

She’d been married twice – including the most recent one for 22 years – and has had a few short-term relationships after her divorce.

All of her trial and error led Mattie to believe that something was wrong with her – that it was her fault these men were not sticking around.

You’ve probably experienced the same thing.

After a certain number of dates, you tend to internalize these ideas:

  1.   There’s something wrong with me.
  2.   There’s something wrong with men.

That’s what Mattie thought when she came to me.

Then she started embracing my coaching philosophies from Love U:

What happened next was a 180-degree turnaround from her previous 54 years:

Since I was 16 years old, I’ve longed for a lifetime love, someone who loves me as deeply as I love him. But all my relationships failed. Too many times, I fell fast and hard and loved a man more than he loved me. Or, I just never liked him very much.

I’m not a materially wealthy woman but I’ve been basically content with my life…However, when I started online dating, I did so knowing I’d achieved every major goal I’d set for myself—except one. I still had not found a true life partner.

Eventually, it became clear to me that your advice is the bomb. You don’t suggest dating gimmicks, tricks and formulas. Instead, you helped me understand how men think. Your book, “Why He Disappeared,” showed me all the mistakes I’d been making with men, including the two partners I’d briefly dated after separating and including my ex-husband who I married after a two-month courtship—before we really knew each other.

“Finding the One Online” prompted me to get professional photos taken and to rewrite my dating profile. As a result, not a week

Posted by: | Posted on: April 18, 2019

(Video) The Secret to Getting a Man to Love You

(Video) The Secret to Getting a Man to Love You

You and I may disagree on a few things, but I hope we can agree on this:

Some people live in a black and white world, but the world is not black and white.

Believe me, I understand the appeal of black and white thinking.

It’s simpler. It’s cleaner. You don’t have to understand anyone else’s feelings.

All you know is if someone disagrees with you, he’s WRONG.

The problem, of course, is that black and white thinking creates friction out in the real world, where there are a lot of bright, ethical people with different worldviews.

I was thinking about this when I was making the Need vs. Needy video I shared a couple of days ago.

I was well aware that I could potentially offend some black and white thinkers, but it was too important to me to present a more nuanced view about the concept of need.

In short, everyone has needs.

If your needs are excessive, you may unintentionally come across as “needy” – which is usually unattractive and draining.

Thus, the most effective way to be with a man is “vulnerable.” Being vulnerable allows you to share your thoughts and feelings openly without driving men away.

Thus, the most effective way to be with a man is “vulnerable.” Being vulnerable allows you to share your thoughts and feelings openly without driving men away.

Since you value vulnerability in men – as opposed to weak men or standoffish men – it’s important to recognize that men value vulnerability, too.

Once you lead with trust, authenticity, and vulnerability, you will attract more men, connect with more men, and be able to find a boyfriend fast.

There’s only one problem about finding a boyfriend fast.

You have no idea where your story is going to end up.

It’s …

Posted by: | Posted on: April 16, 2019

(Video) The Reason You Attract Men Who Treat You Poorly

(Video) The Reason You Attract Men Who Treat You Poorly

At this point I hope you’ve had the chance to read the Love U Pyramid of Love.

Many of you wrote back to tell me how much those lessons resonated – and how painful it is to look back at all the crap you’ve put up with from men.

But there’s a big difference between realizing you’ve acted insecure in the past and understanding how to correct that behavior in the future.

That’s what I’m here for.

And what I love about my readers is that you are not shy about asking me to address what’s on your mind the most: how to identify good men and get rid of bad ones. Recent emails to me include:

  • How do you decipher the men that are looking for a real relationship vs. the ones looking for a one-night stand?
  • How can I be sure the man that comes on strong is a man is not a player and wants to build a relationship?
  • Why didn’t he felt connected with me since he showed signs of being in love?
  • What makes men commit to some women and not others?
  • How do you know when you’ve met the “right” guy?

Believe it or not, there are answers to all of these questions – and I’m going to share them shortly.

But I’ve gotta tell you: as a dating coach, I probably do the same thing that you do every day: observe common patterns and try to make sense of them.

Doctors do this. Lawyers do this. Finance people do this. Teachers do this. Dog trainers do this. We look for behavioral patterns and adjust to them.

Tell me if this pattern sounds familiar to you:

You fall for a guy based on chemistry and common interests.

He makes a great effort to …

Posted by: | Posted on: April 8, 2019

Am I Single Because I Won’t Have Sex?

Am I Single Because I Won’t Have Sex?


As a teenager, I bought into the whole religious reasons thing to not have sex. Early in college, I considered having sex with my long term boyfriend at the time; however, this relationship abruptly turned abusive and crashed and burned, which made me grateful I’d hesitated.

But nearly ten years later, my dating life is nonexistent. I can barely get a guy to look at me, much less give me the time of day. I hate how desperate I feel and seem to be in wanting a relationship and know that I should be happy with what I do have in life (but when has that ever placated anyone?).

It’s been occurring to me lately that maybe it’s due to the fact that I still haven’t had and am reluctant to have sex. Is this something guys can just read off of me? Is it a turn off? Could this maybe even explain why I have such an abysmal time dating?

Krissy

I’m sorry that religion impacted your view of sex. I’m sorry that your abusive relationship soured you further. Your reaction to those situations is somewhat normal — if you view sex as problematic, your defense mechanism protects you from men and sex. It also protects you from men and love.

Understand, men look for sex in the process of looking for love. A guy can decide if he’s open to sleeping with you in 2 seconds; he’ll probably take closer to a month to figure out if he wants to be your boyfriend and a few years to figure out if he wants to be your husband. This is normal, too, not behavior to be judged or shamed.

I’ve answered a number of questions from virgins over the years and I’ve always tried to be consistent — even …