May, 2019

now browsing by month

 
Posted by: | Posted on: May 16, 2019

Orbiting. Another Dating Problem Created By Social Media.

Will You Use the New Facebook Dating App?

I’m REALLY glad to be a middle-aged married guy.

I stopped dating in January 2007 when I met my wife at a potluck dinner in Beverly Hills.

The first iPhone would be released later that year.

Texting was around but it wasn’t ubiquitous. Same with Facebook.

Instagram came around in 2010. Tinder didn’t launch until 2012.

And here we are, as lonely and disconnected as ever. Social media sites that were designed to connect us now cause an equal amount of pain and confusion.

And here we are, as lonely and disconnected as ever. Social media sites that were designed to connect us now cause an equal amount of pain and confusion.

The latest term of art from this digital dystopia? Keep reading:

“Prying eyes on Instagram, Snapchat and Twitter can be exciting when they come from a prospective romantic partner, confusing when unrequited and infuriating when the looker is an ex. In the last case, it’s as though the specter of a Relationship That Could Have Been is peeping over your shoulder, keeping tabs without having to commit to any real-world interactions.

Naturally, there is a name for this 21st-century phenomenon, which has joined ghosting, Netflix and chill, breadcrumbing and other recent entries to the dating lexicon. It’s called orbiting.”

I’d probably call it cyberstalking, but whatever you call it, it’s a thing that afflicts modern daters who are tethered to their social media.

“The way it feels to be orbited depends on your relationship to the orbiter. When you’re interested in the satellite entity watching your social media activity, orbiting brings an endorphin rush, the feeling of being circled by someone you want to get closer to.

But when it’s bad, it’s bad. There’s the frustration of wondering why an ex would rather watch your life

Posted by: | Posted on: May 12, 2019

Wouldn’t you like a man to take care of YOU

Wouldn’t you like a man to take care of YOU

You’re tired,

You’re tired of working ten hours a day.

You’re tired of six hours of sleep per night.

You’re tired of commuting to and from work.

You’re tired of having to handle everything yourself: the laundry, making dinner, car leases, insurance premiums, your wireless connection.

You’re tired of taking care of everybody – your aging parents, your screwed up siblings, your ungrateful boss, your average employees, your unappreciative kids.

Life is hard enough.

It’s much harder when your whole life involves giving rather than receiving.

If you’re like most of my Love U students, you give WAY more than you receive.

You’re like Sisyphus pushing a rock up a hill or Atlas carrying the world on his shoulders.

It’s tiring. It sucks. And nobody talks openly about it.

Have you ever spent long nights on the phone counseling a dear friend?

Have you ever spent thousands of dollars on veterinarian bills for a sick pet?

Have you ever worked longer than expected because you took pride in your work and wanted to please your boss or client?

Have you ever given an expensive gift to your less fortunate sister or your self-sacrificing mother?

Have you ever given more to a relationship than the relationship has given back to you?

I’ll bet you have.

What we see here is not just that you are generous but you are actually generous to a fault.

So, why am I bringing this up now, on the last day of this special Love U launch?

If anything, I wanted you to see something I see in you:

You are so committed to giving to others that you may neglect your own needs.

You put yourself out for a friend, for a pet, for a loved one, but when do you get the opportunity to …

Posted by: | Posted on: May 9, 2019

In Dating, You Can’t Change Them

In Dating, You Can’t Change Them

This is a message to all of you who think you can change somebody.

You think you have those powers, those magical powers of being a change agent, and being able to change somebody.

But, here’s reality for you.

You can’t change somebody.

You can be their cheerleader.

You can support them.

You can hope and wish and pray, and say man, if they only would change this about themselves, they’d be great to be in a relationship with.

Well, let me tell you something: they may like who they are.

That’s right.

They may like being stuck. They may like being overweight. They may like everything about them.

The thing is, you’re settling.

It’s something I hear from clients all the time: I just don’t like their body.

If I can just get them to go to the gym, they’d be great.

Well, here’s a dose of reality for you…

If you don’t like their body, and they’re not going to the gym for themselves, and they weren’t before you met them, there’s no way in the world you’re going to get them to do it for you.

And the fact of the matter is, you’re just going to dislike their body the longer you’re with them.

Because they don’t have the same workout ethic that you have. They don’t have the same body that you want and you’re not attracted to their body.

It’s not going to change, it’s just going to magnify, and that’s just one example.

The bad habits that you want to ignore, the things that they do in the beginning, you just ignore it because you’re settling.

Well, that shit is just going to magnify because you can’t change that person.

That person is who they are.

They might be content with who they …

Posted by: | Posted on: May 9, 2019

I’ve Got Good News, I’ve Got Bad News and I’ve Got Great News!

I’ve Got Good News, I’ve Got Bad News and I’ve Got Great News!

When I first launched Love U in 2015, 250 women enrolled. It was an unusually close group and remains one of the highlights of my career because of this dynamic.

But as you know, my goal isn’t just to make friends – it’s to change lives.

And, as you also probably know, the difference between the clients who have success and the ones who don’t isn’t so much about me as it is about them.

And, as you also probably know, the difference between the clients who have success and the ones who don’t isn’t so much about me as it is about them.

The women who watched the videos, showed up on the weekly coaching calls, dated consistently, and participated actively in the Love U community were the ones who felt the most connected to Love U – and, not coincidentally, got the best results.

And if you ever wonder whether I’m just pumping myself up, this November, I’m invited to a wedding in Sydney, Australia for Elly, a client from that inaugural class of Love U.

That’s awesome. But it’s not the best part. The best part is that a bunch of other women from that Love U class are ALSO invited to attend with their significant others.

  • Jen is in a great relationship with a man called Frank. They’ve been together for years now, live together and he supported her through a double mastectomy.
  • Alyson is an introvert in her 50’s who was really mistrustful of men. Now she’s married and living happily ever after in Kentucky.
  •  Kimberly is in a very happy relationship with a man 12 years younger than her for over a year.
  • Karen has been with the man that she met during Love U for nearly four years.
  • Nanthini didn’t have much dating
Posted by: | Posted on: May 4, 2019

How to Get Rid of Bad Habits

How to Get Rid of Bad Habits

When you’re self aware, you realize when you’re in a bad habit mode.

I want you to look at your life right now, because this is about you, not about me.

Do I have some bad habits? Absolutely.

And when I catch myself in a bad habit cycle, I really have a cold dose of reality.

You see, every morning when we wake up, we try to eliminate our bad habits. A lot of us wake up always refreshed and feeling positive. Feeling like today is going to be the day we are going to finally eliminate the bad habits.

We get excited.

And what happens? Well, bad habits are hard to break.

For those of you who are overweight, you know how soothing those carbs and sugars can be for you.

For those of you who are frustrated the way your body looks, you know how easy it is to avoid going to the gym.

For a lot of you, you can’t seem to connect with the opposite sex on a deeper level.

And you know the bad habits are holding you back.

Bad habits are really challenging.

They’re really difficult.

Especially when those habits become ingrained deeper and even deeper.

The more you do the bad habits, the most you’re cognizant of that habit, the more you are constantly living the bad habit.

And that’s where the real challenge starts to come.

So how do we get rid of these bad habits?

Well…

  1. The first thing is recognition.

You want to recognize the bad habits. You want to look at that bad habit, and you want to ask yourself: how long have I been doing this bad habit for?

You need a little bit of reality.

You really need to understand how deeply ingrained this bad habit has …

Posted by: | Posted on: May 4, 2019

How to Find the Man Who Loves, Accepts and Cherishes You

How to Find the Man Who Loves, Accepts and Cherishes You

You may get really down that you’re still without that deep, lasting love you seek.

You may get really frustrated when you see other couples holding hands at the movies.

You may get really self-conscious when you see happy families walking down the street.

Yes, sometimes single life can be a drag, but it’s my job to remind you that these very markers of what you don’t have are ALSO the reason to brighten up.

They prove that there ARE good men out there and that love IS possible – no matter how hard it feels for you to achieve it.

Which is why I want to begin your day by spreading some good springtime cheer.

Every day, for the past few weeks, the momentum has been building.

The Pyramid of Love to teach you about the six pillars of Love U.

6 video tips about how to be the kind of woman men find irresistible.

The inspirational stories of Love U graduates who found love quickly.

The Facebook Live on how you can attract better men and get the right one to commit.

The women who have already enrolled in Love U so that they can transform from fearful and frustrated to abundant and optimistic.

Everywhere I go, I feel your good vibes:

My blog. My inbox. Endless heartfelt notes from women around the world who let me know that Love U and my coaching is working for them.

There are millions of smart, strong, successful women like you who have everything except for a man to share your life with.

There are millions of smart, strong, successful women like you who have everything except for a man to share your life with.

I want you to have that big, great love you’ve always desired and I will do …